MY SCHEME

Today : Thursday – we sing ‘Sunday’ but now it end up with no hang over for tommorrow


“ Would u want me when I’m not being myself?”

Itu potongan dari lagu john mayer, yang membuat saya bertanya apa yah kira-kira yang dipikirin sama john mayer (atau siapapun) ketika bikin lagu itu, apa hal yang sama dengan yang saya alamin.
Sometimes, there’re a few things that we cannot control, baik hal yang menyangkut emosional ataupun motorik. Kadang-kadang ketika kita berhadapan dengan seseorang yang……ntahlah, kita takutin, kita suka, kita admire atau siapapun yang bisa bikin kita bertingkah aneh atau cuma gara2 bad hair day or one lack-of-confidence dayjuga bisa bikin kita do something outrageous. Misalnya, ketemu dosen yang emang didalem otak kita udah punya state of mind kalo dia killer. Sometimes bikin kita jadi bertingkah aneh, freak out, dan mis-behave and then…taraaaaa ruined everything! (trust me, I’ve done it a lot!)

It’s hard when u know that u’re not being yourself, but u can do anything bout that. Is it normal? Yes, I guess so. But still I don’t like it. Hari ini…. Ugh! Ntah gara-gara bad hair day atau apa, everything seems not make any sense. My routine, if I’m not being myself is talk..talk and talk, and yesss I talk a lot tonight, and just realize,I found my self stupid as retard.hahaha….. dang! Sesuatu bikin saya bingung, and then yang saya lakukan ngomentarin hal apapun yang sebenernya gak penting. Or I just try so hard to get a long with the situation which is I hope getting better, instead i act stupid, but what the hell!

:: anyway, I’m watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, borrowed from rangga, “belum nonton mbun????”, kata rangga. Padahal saya suka banget ama gondry, but yeah I haven’t), I’m not that cult actually, and kate winslet?! There u go, I added one reason why I haven’t watched it, if keira nightley in it, it could been better I suppose ::

:: today.. heavy rain so I came home late 11.15 pm ::

:: I was sketch some new shits, I’ll upload later on ::